A day in the life of Renee

First weigh-in

2012-01-07T21:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I did my first weigh-in. I've only been eating clean since Tuesday, but Friday is my designated weigh-in day. I was down 3.1 lbs. Yay!

I've had wicked sugar withdrawl though and snuck some chocolate here and there otherwise I thought I was going to lose my mind. Today was the first day I haven't consumed any sugar at all. I've also been sick the last couple days with a stuffy nose and sore throat. I haven't had much of an appetite today, so all I've eaten was a protein smoothy, some homemade veggie soup and eggs.

This is definately not going to be an easy journey I've discovered. I feel like I'm lacking support from my family and friends. They don't seem to understand the importance of helping me avoid temptation. I've asked that if they're going to eat junk at work, to please not leave it out in the open where I can see it. I came to work the other morning and on the counter in the staff room I found cookies, a box of chocolates, a container of almond roca and those Rockets candies. Really?! That's like putting a beer in front of an alcoholic and expecting them not to drink it. I realize I'm going to have temptations around me all the time and I'm going to have to practice more self-control, but considering I'm also a binge eater, I need a little help from others from time to time. I didn't think it was too much to ask of other people to throw me a bone every once in awhile, but nobody seems to be taking me seriously.

Diet Book Junkie

2011-11-19T12:40:00.000-07:00

I've come to the realization that I am a diet book junkie. Off the top of my head, these are the books I know I have in my posession:

The Beck Diet Solution
The Atkins Diet
Dr. Phil's Ultimate Weightloss Solution
The Eat-Clean Diet

I'm pretty sure there are more but that's all I can actually think of. I added another one to the list the other day though. I bought the Dukan Diet. I read an article about it in my Clean Eating magazine and thought it sounded interesting. I ended up buying it because I want to try it. I've tried a bazillion diets, so we'll see how long this one pans out for. Here's a running list of what I can recall trying:

Weight Watchers (3x)
Atkins
The Biggest Loser
Eat-Clean Diet
Nutrisystem (3 or 4x)
Some diet plan my parent's did back in the 90's (no idea what it's called)

So yeah, let's just add Dukan to the growing list. I'll admit, I'm a bit worried about it being so high protein and no carb. I have no doubt I'll lose weight, I'm just worried how I'm gonna feel.

Today was better

2011-11-06T21:21:00.000-07:00

I did pretty well today. I made sure to drink lots of water any time I was having major cravings. It wasn't until I went over to my parent's house for supper that I had a small binge on leftover Halloween candy. And I probably ate way more tacos than I needed to. Otherwise, I'd say it was a huge improvement from previous days this week.

The power of distraction

2011-11-05T23:06:00.001-06:00

^^ Clearly doesn't work for a binge eater. Today I have tried everything in my power to stop myself from over-eating. And I was unsuccessful in every attempt.

I am so frustrated because I don't understand what's wrong with me. I realize this is not about food. There is some underlying reason for me to eat, but I haven't figured out what that is yet. I wish it were just that easy because I wouldn't be in this situation again.

I feel absolutely disgusting right now. I don't know how it's even possible for one person to eat as much as I have today. Just the mere thought of it disgusts me even more.

I have all these plans in my head of how I'm going to tackle this problem. However I never seem to get any of them into action. Or if I do, they're short lived and I wind up right back where I started.

Now for something completely different

2011-11-04T21:52:00.000-06:00

A few weeks ago I started a blog about eating clean. I was hoping it would help keep me motiviated to lose weight. Unfortunately all it took was a couple bad days and I was completely off track and out of control. And now this past week has been nothing but a complete binge fest.

I'm currently about 6lbs away from once again being at my highest weight ever. I said I never wanted to go back there. And now here I am. Heavy, disgusted and hopeless.

This week I have eaten uncontrollably. Distractions proved unhelpful. I wanted food. I got food. And I ate food. And plenty of it. Sadly, most of it was unhealthy. It came in the form of cheeseburgers, salty fries and pop.

Even as I sit here, my stomach uncomfortably full, my clothes stretched tight, instead of water, I'm downing "light" fruit juice because I'm craving something sweet.

I haven't been feeling very good at all. I've been excessively tired because I haven't slept well. I'm sluggish and barely have any energy. I feel like I'm carrying around an extra 500 lbs all the time. I've had constant headaches and heartburn has been an almost daily occurance for months.

Oh there is an easy solution to fix all of this. It's called not eating the things that make me feel gross and gain weight. However, as a binge eater, that's always easier said than done.